True Talk with Renee: “How Do I Attract the Person I Really Want?”

I get asked all the time…

“Is there something I should be doing in order to attract the kind of person I am really looking for in a partner? I seem to always attract the wrong type of person.”

The first question to ask yourself is, “Do you really know what you want and need in a healthy, long-lasting relationship? Do you have what it takes?”

Get Real With Yourself

The first step is to get real and seriously ask yourself a series of self-evaluation questions and be honest with your answers.

  • Where are you in your life?
  • Have you personally achieved the goals that you had hoped for at this stage in your life?
  • What does your life look like when you add this special person to your life?


Once you have these questions answered, then write down your needs, wants, interests and the physical characteristics that attract you. But if you have not achieved your goals, it’s usually a good idea to wait on this step until you do. Expecting love to get you to your personal goals will always fall short.


Are You Really Ready?

Now that you have asked yourself the tough questions, and been honest in your answers, you have two choices.  If you have not reached the goals you wanted to achieve at this time in your life, then your next step is to determine a plan of action to get yourself there. Trying to find a partner while also trying to achieve personal goals can be distracting, and you could end up empty-handed on both fronts.  The confidence and happiness you will gain from achieving your goals will be an attractive quality that will help you draw in the quality person you are looking for in a future partner.

Deal Breakers

If you’ve achieved your personal/professional goals, you’re ready to begin focusing on finding and attracting that great match for yourself.  First, focus on 4-5 needs, interests and characteristic qualities that are important to you. Make these “front and center” deal-breakers that serve as a qualifier, no matter how attractive or charming a person can come across.  If they don’t have the qualities you have identified as deal-breakers, then you have to rule them out.  Trust me, you will save yourself from making the same old mistakes and ending up with the same wrong person, time and time again.

Your top-tier qualities should be a combination of serious items and some that are more fun in nature.  For example, it may be very important that they share your Christian faith or that they have a college education.  Those are certainly qualities that will impact your religious priorities, your future earning capabilities as a couple and even the values you instill in your future children.  But don’t forget the things that may just bring happiness or fun into your lives. You may love to dance or travel; these are things that impact your common interests and keep you connected as a couple. Once you have your list, put your effort into attracting these most-valued qualities first and foremost. Keep in mind that no one is perfect, but if they have those core qualities, then your other needs can be met along the journey.

So Where Do I Find Them?

Once you put this all down on paper, set realistic goals and develop a clear picture of what your future looks like with this person, you are truly putting a message out into the universe that you are ready. Start putting yourself in environments to attract these types of people.  For example, a golf course is a place that is more likely to have college-educated, athletic and financially-stable people than a surfer bar. There is absolutely nothing wrong with people who love to surf, if that is what you are looking for in a partner.  If someone who loves to surf if a top-tier value for you, then book a trip to a surf camp in Costa Rica.  Do you see where I am going with this?


How A Matchmaker Can Help

The majority of people who are successful, serious-minded, Christian singles are not on a dating app or on-line service managed by algorithms and computer programs. Matchmaking is a personal, individualized and confidential service focused on finding your perfect match, based on your priorities and values.


At 1 True Match, we ask all the “deal-breaker” questions for you. We interview candidates in person and conduct background screening and psychological testing to identify habits and patterns, making sure we are introducing you to the best-of-the-best. Then, after your date, we help guide you to decide if this person is truly going to make you happy and is worth your precious time and effort.  Matchmaking takes the pressure off the client, so they can confidently fall in love with no fears.


If you are interested in learning more about the 1 True Match difference, email or call us.  You can also join our complimentary dating profile to make yourself visible to our successful, qualified, Christian singles. We also host live workshops where you can learn hands-on the steps you need to take to find your future partner.  Whatever path you choose, we are here to help you find what will make you happy – but first remember, love always starts with you!

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