During these days of social distancing, it seems all we can do is find new ways to keep ourselves busy. We’re spending hours doing things we may not usually do under normal circumstances, like completing 1,000-piece puzzles, binge watching Netflix for hours on end, or attempting to make homemade bread. However you decide to keep yourself busy is up to you, but no matter what you do, do not text your ex. Relationship Coach and Professional Christian matchmaker Renee Richel, President of 1 True Match explains that being single in a time of social distancing can bring up unexpected feelings of loneliness, but falling back into old habits with someone from your past will only make you feel worse.
They’re Your Ex For A Reason
Of course, the urge to text your ex is completely normal and very common. In fact, Gwendolyn Seidman, an associate psychology professor at Albright College, thinks that people are hearing from their exes due to several reasons. There are levels of boredom and loneliness and a lot of time on social media. Facebook disclosed on its blog in late March that across WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook, the company was seeing “new records in usage almost every day,” and that messaging between users had increased by 50 percent. So even if you weren’t planning to text your ex-partner, chances are you might want to after you’ve checked out their Instagram.
There is comfort in things and people that are familiar to us, which is why you may be tempted to text your ex during these times of uncertainty. You loved this person for a reason, but you also can’t romanticize it either; there’s a reason why the relationship ended. At the end of the day, there is really nothing left to say that will change the end result. You can’t clear your head and focus on moving forward if you stay connected through communication. If nothing else think about all those times you’ve told your friends not to text their ex!
Is It Really Worth It?
Before you dive headfirst into a conversation that may result in emotional turmoil, think about why you’re tempted to text your ex. Are you so bored that you would pick the drama of that relationship over nothing? Are you one of those people who has been scrolling through social media for days on end? Once you get started down that road, it’s hard to stop. Those pictures or texting back and forth might bring back that sense of nostalgia. However, you need to determine if the nostalgia is actually due to missing your ex or if it’s because you miss that time in your life before everything was disrupted. You may be missing how your life was before the craziness of the Coronavirus pandemic hit, but you need to remember that rekindling communication with your ex won’t do anything to bring that feeling or life back for the long term. “Ex’s are like a 747, they come in fast, leave a jet stream of memories, and have no rear-view mirror, so never look back,” insists Richel. “Move on, don’t waist precious time that could be preparing your mind, body, soul and time for your future spouse to enter into your world. You would want them to be doing the same thing for you right now not being distracted with temptations or ex’s that aren’t good for you.”
Keep Your Mind Busy
Due to these times of social distancing and isolation, many people are tempted to text their ex in an attempt to pass the time. However, there are plenty of other activities you can participate in that are healthy for your mind, heart, and body. Renee Richel has 5 activities you can do to prioritize your wellbeing and keep your mind off your ex:
- Practice self-validation and prioritize self-care: You can read all about how to manifest a positive attitude even while isolated in Renee’s blog here by prioritizing your happiness and taking the time to care for yourself.
- Get your blood pumping: Exercise and fresh air will make you happier, but it will also make you healthier! Although the gyms aren’t open yet, there are tons of at-home workouts you can try or even go for a walk outside to get some sunshine.
- Get in the kitchen: There’s nothing better when you’re feeling down than a little comfort food! Pick out a new recipe you’ve always wanted to try or find a reason to bake a few trays of cupcakes. Here is a list of easy recipes to cook while you’re self-quarantined by The New York Times. Don’t know your way around the kitchen there are some great virtual cooking classes that you can do with some friends or meet new people all from your own home.
- Set up a virtual happy hour: Just because we have to keep our distance doesn’t mean we can’t still have happy hour with our friends. Get a drink and set up a virtual meet up with your friends. There are companies that will deliver appetizers and even the drinks to your front door. Get your friends on board and share your feelings of loneliness or brag about the project you finally completed. Spend that time talking with them instead of your ex. They are your biggest support system!
- Get lost in a hobby: During your normal routine, it’s probably hard to find time to read those books you’ve always been wanting to or pick up that cross-stich you’ve been waiting to finish. Learn a language, foster a dog, do anything other than text your ex. Take this time at home to get started on your never-ending reading list or get lost in a DIY craft project. Get creative!
So, have we said it enough? If you’re truly serious about finding a healthy, long lasting, and meaningful love based in a shared faith, then put your trust in 1 True Match. We will help you move forward with your relationships not slide back to a bad ex! We offer a unique, personalized, and effective process with a proven track record of success. Click here to schedule a free consultation and learn more about 1 True Match!