Studies find that loving others and feeling loved by others increases our happiness. But whether we are in a long- term relationship, a new relationship or single, one thing 
that is crucial for our mental well-being is our level of self-love. Self-love is all about loving yourself first and having regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. Many people would say that self-love is narcissistic or vain. However, self-love reflects your level of self-esteem, your well-being and ultimately your happiness. This may sound strange but loving yourself first is one of the important steps to having a successful relationship with someone else. So, what does “loving yourself” really mean and how do you get there if you aren’t feeling it?
What Loving Yourself Really Means
When you love yourself, you accept yourself the way you are, and you come to terms with the things you cannot change about yourself. When you love yourself first, you become happier as well as become a better life partner. “One of the first thing I discuss with a client is how they are feeling about themselves,” explains Relationship Coach Renee Richel, Founder of 1 True Match. “If someone has low self-esteem or is looking for someone else to validate them, they will never truly be happy. The Lord wants you to find that love within yourself, just like the love he has for you. When you know how to truly love yourself you can better communicate to a potential partner what you need from the relationship.” Below, we’ve provided some steps to follow to help you develop or improve your self-love. These recommendations will result in higher self-esteem and ultimately a happier and peaceful life.
Enjoy Time Alone
Whether you take yourself out to a restaurant, go for a hike, or take in a movie, make sure you enjoy this time with yourself. Finding activities to do on your own is another way to improve your self-love. Here is how to enjoy this precious time to yourself:
Reflect on the world around you and what you love about it- Strategize ways you can increases your productivity
- Come up with your own pep talk mantra that helps you build up your mental strength
- Think of activities or projects that spark your creativity
- Pray, take this time to build a stronger relationship with God
Learning to enjoy your own company positively affects all relationships. Knowing you can do things independently will prevent your relationships from becoming too clingy or controlling. With this new sense of independence, you will find yourself happier and more confident. Who knows, maybe you will learn something new about yourself after spending more quality time alone!
Celebrate Your Accomplishments
No matter how big or small, celebrate yourself! It’s easy to get lost in everyone else’s achievements, so don’t undermine your own. Celebrating our accomplishments reinforces feelings of success and self-worth. When we feel worthy, we not only feel better about ourselves, but we feel more confident while making decisions. Our accomplishments shine a light on our positive qualities and increases our confidence. Celebrating ourselves also reminds us to enjoy life. Life can be very stressful and unpredictable, but once we start to celebrate the journey, it gets a whole lot easier. You learn to roll with the punches and accept things as they come. Whether we celebrate on our own or with others, it still has the same positive effects on overall well-being.
Build Your Confidence
Building your confidence is a key factor in loving yourself. When you are confident, you tend to exude a more positive attitude and become a happier person. This newfound positivity and happiness will improve your relationships. If you are single, this new attitude will help you attract likeminded people. This is an important factor in any relationship, whether it’s with family, friends or a partner making all your relationships more fun and a healthier experience.
Plus, confidence is an attractive quality. This characteristic is something many singles look for in their future life partner. Here are a couple of ways to increase your confidence:
Visualize yourself as you want to be- Affirm yourself before anyone else
- Help other people succeed, supporting others is addicting
- Take care of yourself, people tend to feel more confident when they feel and look their best
- Know that God created you in His image and trust that he made you uniquely you for a purpose
Have a Positive Mindset
When you have a positive mindset, you will start to view yourself and your relationships differently. A way to give yourself a more positive mindset is to practice gratitude. When you think of everything to be grateful for, it may surprise you how much you have overlooked the small things in life. Once you start focusing on everything you can be grateful for, it will alter the way you look at your life.
Another way to have a positive mindset is to speak lovingly to yourself. It may be difficult to do this, knowing that many people don’t see themselves how others view them. But once you start treating yourself with respect, the rest will follow. Having a positive mindset about yourself increases your self-esteem greatly. Once you look at yourself in a positive light, you will gain more confidence and self-respect, which are key elements to loving yourself first.
If you are focused on the negative and not celebrating the good, you will start to live in a negative mindset. This negativity can impact your relationship, resulting in a focus on your partners’ faults and on minuscule details about the relationship. Once you change this mindset, the possibilities in life and relationships are endless.
Trust Us to Help
1 True Match wants to see you succeed in life and in relationships. But we know that it all starts with you. That’s why we created this list to help you grow as an individual. Once you acquire self-love, you will have healthier relationships and a healthier mindset, resulting in a happier life. We are invested in helping you find happiness, so put your trust in us to find your true love. We will help you find a relationship where you can exercise your self-love. Our goal is to keep our clients in happy, loving relationships by providing them with personalized services to succeed. 1 True Match also hosts “LOVE Starts with You” workshops but current social distancing mandates have temporarily put meeting in person on hold. We are working to host a virtual event in the near future so check back to our website or to our Facebook page. Click here to sign up for a free consultation and to learn more about 1 True Match!