How And Why You Should Bring Up Faith On A First Date

“It was on our second date when I looked at Mallory* and already thought I could marry her,” said Dan* a 1 True Match Client. “We have similar backgrounds with our families and our faith being really important to us.”  Before Dan joined 1 True Match, he’d wondered how he could meet a woman who considered her faith an important component of a relationship.  He was a very busy professional who had invested much of his adult life to building his career. A career that included numerous relocations which made it hard to invest in dating.

Dating With Faith In Focus

It wasn’t until he settled into a position in Florida that he felt the timing was right to begin seriously dating and looking for a lifetime relationship. Dan wasn’t engaged in any social activities where he could meet someone, and he knew bars and dating apps were not going to lead him to a relationship that could potentially lead to marriage.

He had no idea where or to find a woman who valued her faith as much as he did. “Dating with their faith in mind is more important than most people realize,” explained Relationship Coach Renée Richel, Founder of 1 True Match. “There are advantages to including God in your relationship right from the start.”

Couples who consider their faith a priority are less likely to commit adultery and have a greater level of happiness throughout the challenges of marriage and parenting. Praying for their partner was also associated with increased commitment and more satisfying relationships. Dan sought help from 1 True Match because of its commitment to matching Christian singles and because he had no idea how to find someone he could share his faith with. “I was able to be honest with Renée about my goals and priorities so we could put a plan together. “She put me at ease in a very difficult situation for someone with limited dating experience,” added Dan. One of the first things Dan learned by working with 1 True Match was how to feel comfortable discussing his spirituality early on before the relationship became serious.

How To Fit Faith Into A Conversation

We’ve all heard the advice to not discuss religion or politics on a first date. But if it’s important to you then it’s important to discuss it. Here are a few suggestions on how you can break the ice and casually bring religion into your conversation.

  • Ask about their weekend and share yours – this provides the opportunity to find out if they attend church regularly and you can share where you attend service and the impact the sermon had on you.
  • Ask about their community service or if they volunteer – when you talk about others instead of yourselves it’s a good way to learn more about the other person’s values and you can ask where they learned to be charitable.
  • Ask about their family history – religion has been linked to strong family bonds, so this provides an opening to talk about your family’s faith and to ask about their family traditions and if attending church is a part of their holiday celebrations.
  • Ask their opinion on a current religious issue – you can share your thoughts on a topic in the news that involves religion and ask their thoughts on the topic. It will give you insight into their religious tolerance and beliefs.
  • Ask about their music preferences – everyone loves to talk about their favorite singers or bands.  This gives you the chance to share that you listen to some Christian artists and see if they do as well.

For Dan and Mallory, it was easy to bring their faith into the conversation because they already knew they had that in common since they met through a Christian matchmaker. They also knew they wanted faith to play a strong role in a future marriage and in the raising of any children. Their first date was in early October, by June Dan proposed and they were married the following month.

They both feel very blessed and believe God was at work in bringing them together. “If faith is important to you don’t compromise and set it aside just to make a relationship work,” said Richel. “The best thing you can do is to pray and ask God to bring you someone who will help build a foundation of faith into your relationship.  The old saying is true, couples who pray together stay together.”

*Names have been changed to protect their privacy.  1 True Match prides itself on its confidential services.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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